Exodus 34:6 says, "I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. But I do not excuse the guilty. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations" (NLT).
A lot of your men are affected by the "down stream" consequences of their parent’s, grandparent’s, and even great grandparent’s sins. For example, when a man abandons his family, he sets negative forces in motion that will impact his entire family lineage for several generations (at least).
Christ is a Redeemer, and no amount of pain and dysfunction is beyond his reach or interest. Nevertheless, once a cycle of brokenness begins it takes so much more emotional energy and so much more of society’s resources to restore what should have never been broken to begin with.
Teach your men to consider the costs of starting a cycle. Teach your men how to break the cycle. Make it a badge of honor in your church to be a cycle breaker. Make it a point of honor for men to say, "By God’s grace, it stops with me. I am going to set my family line on a whole new course for generations to come."
Yours for changed lives,
Patrick Morley, Ph.D.
Man in the Mirror
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Posted by
dwarrington |
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LifeBuilders |
Teach your men what it means to lead a balanced life. Personally, I like it best when I am "busy and balanced." It’s a fine line. What can we tell men about the look of a balanced life, and how to achieve one?
At the 50th wedding anniversary party of a friend, the 40 to 50 guests were a) his happy wife, b) his children (some of whom flew in), c) his pastor who thought enough of him to comment on his life, and d) about 40 friends. In his case, no one from the office. And he was very happy.
Tell your men these few things. You no doubt can think of more.
- No amount of success at work will ever be adequate to compensate for failure at home.
- After God, but before all others, make your mate your top priority. Spend time together alone, touch her, listen to her, be faithful to her, encourage her with words, take care of her financially, laugh together, and be her best friend.
- Invest in your children with time, prayer, and encouraging words like, "I love you," and "I’m proud of you." Older men swear there’s no pain like child pain. If your children end up doing well, all of your other problems will fit into a thimble.
- Most men compartmentalize their family, but not their work. In other words, they think about their work when they’re with their families, but not their families while they’re at work. Tell men to put a time and mental boundary up around their work. For example, they could declare, "I will not work after 6:00 p.m." One man promised to take his wife out to dinner every time he broke the rule.
- Let Jesus be your highest and best thought in every situation. Pray about everything. For example, every time you make a phone call, say a silent prayer for 5 seconds as you pick up the receiver. There are many other ways you can pray. Jesus will help you lead a balanced life if you’re in constant communication.
Help your men discover that a happy wife, children who still want to be around them, a pastor who would be willing to say something nice about them, and about 40 friends would be a great achievement. What more can a man really want?
Yours for balanced lives,
Patrick Morley, Ph.D.
Man in the Mirror
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Posted by
dwarrington |
Categories:
LifeBuilders |
In the movie Man on Fire, Denzel Washington plays a tired ex-soldier who gets hired as a bodyguard for a little girl. He bonds with the girl (Dakota Fanning), and molds her into a competitive swimmer. Once, when she clocked a good lap, she squealed, "I’m tough!"
He replied, "There’s no such thing as tough. You’re either trained or you’re not trained. Now what are you?"
At the Man in the Mirror Men’s Bible Study that I teach on Fridays, we regularly have visitors who’ve made a profession of faith but they’ve never been trained (or discipled). They’re like men recruited into the Marines and issued a rifle, but never trained how to use it. The result? They are Christian in spirit, but secular in practice.
How tragic. Even though their intentions may be good, they lack the spiritual power to live it out. Sure, a man can become a Christian with only a basic understanding of faith and repentance—it’s simple and easy. However, to become a Godly man, husband, father, and a disciple of Jesus will require some effort on his part—it’s hard. Don’t tell a man that a hard task is easy—he will just become discouraged and give up. Instead, tell him the truth—the way is hard and you have to train. It’s the only way, and it’s worth it.
And where does the spiritual power come from? Jesus said, "You do not know the Scriptures and (as a result) you do not know the power of God" (Matthew 22:29).We must, must, must challenge and train men to read and study God’s Word for themselves—through sermons, in Bible studies, on their own, and with their families. This is the meat of the coconut.
Yours for changed lives,
Patrick Morley, Ph.D.
Man in the Mirror
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Posted by
dwarrington |
Categories:
LifeBuilders |
