Here’s the way it works in many churches. We finally get the men’s ministry off “square one” and begin to have some meaningful monthly meetings. The men are excited and the attendance is not bad. We invite a guest speaker, they do a great job and we dismiss and have a few refreshments. The problem is that this will not work well in the long term. The men get tired of the routine and the meetings become boring because you can’t always have a dynamic speaker every month. Do you know what you end up with? It is called: meet it—eat it—and beat it!
We have found a better way to help bring the message of the monthly meeting home and impact the lives of the men attending. We call it big meeting—little meeting.
Here is how it works:
- Instruct whoever is speaking to hold their presentation to about 30 minutes.
- Then put the men in small groups of five to seven men and discuss the content of the evening’s message.
- You can wrap us the evening by having each group report on their discussion.
This is a powerful way to allow the men to have personal input and be able to digest what has been preached or taught. Pat Morley does this every Friday at his community-wide men’s Bible class. He even has “table leaders” who are ready with three or four pertinent questions concerning the topic that was shared.
I was at the Bronxwood Church of God in Bronx, New York with Nelson Morrison, the LifeBuilders men’s leader. One of the other members of his leadership team spoke for 30 minutes on the vision for some future projects of the local group. He then broke us down into these small groups of men and had us each speak to one of the vision points. When we all met again in the big group he had a complete list of powerful new activities that the men wanted. This is a very effective way to keep the momentum and excitement going in your local chapters.
All of us here in the International Office of LifeBuilders Men’s Ministry are committed to helping you improve your work in the local church. If you want different results, you have to do different things. I have noticed that people don’t change until they become uncomfortable with something. Our job as leaders is to help men become uncomfortable with the way they live. Jesus comes with tension. If we declare the Scriptures in love, men will become uncomfortable. Benjamin Franklin said, “You can’t keep doing things the same way and expect different results.”
As we close, ask yourself these questions:
- Does my men’s ministry need improvement and, if so, what needs to happen?
- How can I help your men become uncomfortable with lukewarm ways?
Blessings on you!
Leonard C. Albert
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The James Aquino Story
Raised in Daly City, Calif., just south of San Francisco, I am the youngest of five siblings. As a child my folks sent us to the Catholic Church though they never attended with us. When I was six years old my parents split up and Mom ran off with another man. I asked God why this had to happen to me but didn’t receive an answer at that time. Mom’s leaving weighed heavily on my heart. I tried to draw near to God. I joined the altar boys of the church and served there for two years. By the eighth grade I quit because of peer pressure.
Drugs and alcohol were a frequent part of my childhood. My Dad had to work two jobs just to pay the bills so there was no supervision in the home nor did he have time for us. Since I was the smallest son, my brothers beat on me daily even once stuffing me in the clothes dryer and turning it on! I remember telling dad what was happening to me! He simply advised me to stay away from the rest of the kids like the beatings were my own fault. He often called me “ugly” and “good for nothing.” He never disciplined my oldest brother although he was bad, very mean and eventually ended up serving eight years in prison! Never feeling loved in my own family, I was searching for acceptance! I stayed away from home whenever I could; I hated it there! I even ran away living on the streets for months at age 11. From the time I was 12 I was buying all my own clothes and necessities working 3 to 11 at a local gas station. Dad was always telling us, “I can’t wait till you all turn 18 so you can get out of my house.” He refused to support us properly.
After work I started hanging out with a local gang known as the ” FogTown Locos.” As part of the initiation they jumped me and beat me up. I felt I had to fight for my life. When the mayhem ceased they hugged me, bloody bruised body and all, and welcomed me into the gang. I felt loved and accepted for the first time!
By age 15 I was in and out of jail on drug charges and gang-related crimes. I was totally on my own as my father had moved to the Philippines with the woman he had married some years earlier. I continued as a gang member until age 29. By this time I had married, had children, divorced, had many relationships, and had become a dangerously unstable person, drinking, doing drugs, full of hate and packing a gun.
Then one day there I sat on the floor of my apartment drunk, full of speed that I had just shot into my arm, and with a pile of money. I felt so empty! Weeping I found myself on my knees with my .38 special snub nose in my hand. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so miserable. I had dope, money, alcohol, and girls. Still I wept deeply. I had failed in life and I knew it. Where was my wife and children? “Why?” I cried out to God. I raised the pistol to my mouth. It went into my mouth so hard that I cut my lips. I was going to kill myself. I cocked the hammer and started to pull the trigger, then a voice said, “NO!” Somehow at this moment I was thinking about my kids, how if I did this I’d never see them again. I dropped the gun and just curled up on the floor and cried like a baby! I remember saying to God, “If you will give me back my family, I will give all this up.”
Over the next two years I was in and out of jail, lost my driving privileges, and ended up homeless, penniless, and with few friends. I got in trouble with a gang and they sent members to kill me. They chased me to a friend’s house where I was cornered. I had no means of defence because I had sold my gun for drug money. I sat puzzled. What do I do? I was scared! I prayed for God to help me as the gang members outside cursed and dared me to come out. A voice in my head told me to call my ex-wife. When I told her my predicament she didn’t believe me at first but finally, with great reluctance in her voice, she agreed to come pick me up. My next problem was to get safely out of the house to our designated meeting place. I stepped outside and my friend slammed and locked the door behind me. Scared, shaking, leaving the house I held my duffel bag in front of me with my knife in my hand for protection and walked cautiously toward the street. I gripped the knife tighter, feeling that any minute a gang member would pounce on me. I cautiously looked around, but by some miracle they were gone, I didn’t know why or where, but I thanked God.
My ex-wife Anna picked me up at about 6 a.m. and thought I was tripping out on drugs. She took me to her house where I slept for about four days straight. On Sundays Anna attended church. One day I asked her if I could go to church with her. We went to the Solid Rock Church of God where I didn’t believe the things I saw and heard. People getting slain in the Spirit, speaking in tongues; I thought was all fake. When Pastor Randall Bailey preached that day, he spoke of broken lives filled with drugs and alcohol. I looked at Anna and said, “Why have you been talking to this man about me?” She promised that she hadn’t but I didn’t believe her. I was so intrigued that I decided to return to church the next Sunday. Again the preacher was seemingly preaching right to me. I couldn’t believe it! This man that didn’t even know me was talking directly to me describing me perfectly. Afterward he called for those who wanted to be free from those evils to come for a special prayer of salvation. I just stayed in the pew frozen stiff and scared. I wanted to go but I didn’t want everyone looking at me. I said, “God if you’re going to save me, do it right here.” I prayed the sinners prayer right there in the pew. Well, He did save me because here I am telling my story.
Things began happening quickly after that. Anna got rid of her boyfriend. One Sunday soon after that the pastor preached on broken covenants with God! God spoke to my heart and said, “Remember when you cried out to Me and said, `if you give me back my family, I’ll give up all these things’ (meaning drugs, alcohol, guns, women).” I answered, “Yes, Lord I do.” God then reminded me that I needed to keep my word. I found myself at the altar weeping and asking God to cleanse me of drugs and alcohol!
I’ve been clean and sober now for about four years, God is good! Anna and I will celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary on May 12, 2000. My children are very happy. I’ve been teaching children for about three years now in the church, and have been involved with the worship ensemble. I was elected to the Pastor’s Council, and I’m the president of our local LifeBuilders chapter. Since I asked Jesus into my heart my life is changed forever! I have also had the opportunity to visit the Philippines and while there shared what the Lord has done in my life with my father, and also shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with him. He received Jesus into his heart that day. Bedridden for 14 years after a massive stroke, God kept him alive just for that purpose. The son whom he had never shown any attention was able to go to the Philippines and share Jesus with him. Incidentally, that day was my birthday. Wow! What a birthday present! That day my father and I laughed together, cried together and prayed together. My dad shared with me that he was proud of who I’d become and that he loved me. Praise God! God through His mercy has helped me become a true LifeBuilder.
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Part of our “10 for 10,000″ program for discipling men in the local church is “Matthew 25 Men.” It’s the “Work for Christ” part, where men actually turn the ideas they are discipled into deeds.
Up until now, Matthew 25 Men has involved traveling to remote places. But need isn’t isolated in a few places. And many men simply do not have the time or resources themselves to make such a journey.
Now, Matthew 25 Men includes outreach and mission projects in your own town or city! Our resource for this is Excellence for the Rest of Us. It has an entire chapter on “Inreach and Outreach” which shows you and the men of your church how to make an impact in your community–and ultimately on your men. It includes the following:
- Detailed guidance on outreaches such as to nursing homes, prisons, hospitals and community chapels
- The “Inreach/Outreach Grid,” the complete outline and idea source for all kinds of projects, both inside and outside the church
- An advanced description of team ministry, essential at all levels of effective men’s ministry
- And many other ideas and projects!
Excellence for the Rest of Us can be obtained directly from the publisher by clicking here or on the cover image. If you want to teach this book as a course, an instructor’s guide is also available.
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Three principles to developing-and keeping-remarkable men’s ministry leaders
Every church deals with turnover. It’s the nature of people to move on to new challenges. Yet among all the church’s major ministries, men’s ministry continues to experience a high turnover of volunteers and leaders-more often a result the “up like a rocket-down like a brick” nature of ministry to men.
For nearly 35 years I have worked with men’ ministry and have seen many leaders come and go. It is interesting to note that the secret of keeping them is to be found in some of the reasons why they go.
It’s difficult to attract leaders if you have a revolving door of volunteers; but give people incentive to stay and they’ll remain loyal in a thriving environment. To that degree, here are three principles every pastor and church leader should know about developing-and keeping-men’s ministry leaders
Rediscover the Value of Reaching Men
The first principle to developing solid leaders in your church is to create an environment where both the ministry and its volunteers are valued and respected. This starts with the senior pastor. Promise Keeper’s tells us that if we win a man ninety-three percent (93%) of the time that man will win his family to the church. Investor’s call this “ROI”-return on investment. This is the main problem with men’s ministry-it is not high on the priority of the church ministry list. Of the nearly 7,000 stateside Churches of God I do not know of even one that has a full time men’s ministry director.
We must place a high value on ministry to men. In most churches, the pastor sets the tone for what is most valued in that body. If his passion is for evangelism, those who are part of his church will most likely have a similar bent for reaching the lost. If the spiritual development of men is important to the pastor, it will be important to the congregation.
People want to be part of something that has significant impact, and few things top the call of raising tomorrow’s leaders. The trickle-down effect of this is a leadership that doesn’t just talk about supporting men’s ministry, but instead backs up their words with action.
One of the prime ways pastors can do this is by providing sufficient leadership training and set in place a system to disciple the men in the church. This new thrust in training men will involve a small financial commitment but the “ROI” will be great. Bottom line: When pastors make known to the congregation the importance of supporting and volunteering in men’s ministry, leaders and financial support are more inclined to emerge.
Equally as crucial in creating this environment is finding the right leader(s). We recommend that a church begin with a man who is a proven leader and one who has an arrow through his heart for other men. Then, in turn, this man with the backing of the pastor should find a few other men in the church willing to pay the price to win and disciple men. Too often inexperienced individuals are appointed by default to lead.
A men’s leader’s abilities and experience speaks volumes about how the ministry is valued and perceived by the pastor. Although it is true that skills can be enhanced, good people skills should be a prerequisite for the top men’s leader. They set the tone and atmosphere for the day-to-day ministry operation. They also have the greatest influence on ministry volunteers and those who will potentially become leaders. Fill the position carefully and prayerfully.
Support Men’s Ministry
Once a men’s ministry leader is appointed, those in church leadership shouldn’t automatically assume it’s only a matter of time before the ministry becomes a bustling Mecca for men’s spiritual growth. There will be days when a ministry director leaves the parking lot after a service pondering the sanity of his decision to accept the position. So many men’s program in the church are “wimpy.” One of my friends calls it the “Romeo” ministry-”Really Old Men Eating Out!”
What keeps that leader coming back with renewed passion? That’s the second principle of developing powerful leaders: Pastors and church leaders must be supportive and encourage those emerging leaders. This applies to both the ministry’s key leader and its volunteers. Obviously, the director needs to sense the pastor’s support. Knowing your pastor is supporting your every venture makes all the difference. Likewise, volunteering leaders need to know that they have emotional and spiritual support, especially during challenging times.
Men’s ministry is different from any other within in the church. Pat Morley, founder of Man in the Mirror Ministry says that a “man is a hard thing to reach.” It is essential that the leaders are prayed for, supported and encouraged to stay strong and committed.
As most pastors know, a thriving men’s ministry doesn’t happen overnight; it takes a substantial amount of work. It will take about two years to even begin to build a thriving ministry for the men of the local church. hose leading the charge are required to handle an array of tasks and issues. Many of the men’s leaders in the church feel that their work is not noticed or appreciated. There is always a mandate for men to do more in the church so any way of showing support and appreciation to the leaders will go far in keeping them active.
Men’s leaders are some of the most tireless workers. As a pastor or church leader, it would be good for you to realize that though it is important to set realistic goals and strive for excellence, it’s equally as important to be considerate and show appreciation.
If you’re a senior pastor, you can set the precedent for this. Reward those who have taken upon themselves this high call of nurturing and discipling the church’s men. When volunteers serve in an environment where they are validated and appreciated two things happen: Turnover is reduced and individuals are more willing to take on leadership responsibilities.
Churches that have perfected the ministry of appreciation, all have one thing in common: They go out of their way to let their volunteers know they’re special and valued. Showing such appreciation doesn’t have to be an expensive endeavor. On days when they serve, provide complimentary CDs of the message in the main service. Throw an occasional workers-only special event for those who help out in the men’s ministry. Hand out certificates of appreciation. These are all inexpensive but effective ways to say “thank you.”
Learn as you “grow and know”
This third principle to developing outstanding leaders-providing ongoing training opportunities-is both universal and continuous (thus the ongoing part).
When men’s ministry workers are properly trained, the quality and effectiveness of the ministry experiences quantum leaps. Training is essential to developing leaders. Well-trained volunteers are more equipped and typically more confident about carrying out their responsibilities. We recommend that you consider attending the Man in the Mirror “No Man Left Behind” leadership training event. This three day seminar allows the attendees to become men’s ministry specialists in the local church. Church of God LifeBuilders Men’s Ministry also offers a new leadership training event for men called “Discipling Strong Men.” Training is the best investment a church can make in its staff and volunteers.
These three principle are simple and practical and can have profound results when implemented and sustained over time. Developing men’s ministry leaders does not have to be a challenging endeavor. It can be a tremendous opportunity to watch God call forth and empower ordinary people to do extraordinary things for His kingdom through a ministry to men.
For the last few months Clifford Hare and Ed Jost have been leading the LifeBuilders men’s group at the 103rd Street Church of God in Jacksonville, Florida. These two guys are cutting edge and are really at the forefront of the men’s movement. Their senior pastor, Rev. Cliff Gobble backs them every step of the way and attends the men’s events as well.
The other night I had the privilege of speaking in their monthly meeting. I got to meet each of the 16 men in attendance, spoke with the pastor and then gave a 25 minute challenge to reach and disciple men for Christ. I told them about our Ten for 10,000 plan to win 10,000 new men in the Church of God in the next five years, I mentioned how they were a vital part of this great challenge. I told them about the new men’s ministry “adventure” that we have created called Matthew 25 Men. This is an opportunity to spend a weekend away from home and go to hurting people and do deeds of kindness. In Atlanta, Georgia they can do street ministry; in Logan, West Virginia they can visit the hungry and homeless and help feed them; and in Gallup, New Mexico they can reach the Navajo “first Americans.” At the end, I gave them the same challenge that I do every local group: I asked them to commit to reaching, discipling and equipping 20 new men in their group in the coming months.
Here’s the wonderful thing about the evening I spent with these men: I never had to leave my house here in Cleveland, Tennessee! We did it for free over the Internet with OOVOO (www.oovoo.com) a “video-over-internet-protocol” software that is available free for any computer with a web-cam and a decent broadband connection. Cliff Hare went out and bought a $70 web camera and hooked it up to a microphone stand; and then from my study I could see and speak to every man. It was amazing! It was so easy for me to have a chance to meet and minister to new men. We’re going to do these all over the country and around the world, because we don’t have much time left! I truly believe that Jesus is coming soon, and I also believe that what we want to be found doing when He comes we had better begin doing now!
Blessings on you!
Leonard C. Albert